{"id":193896,"date":"2022-12-19T17:39:14","date_gmt":"2022-12-19T17:39:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/?post_type=read&p=193896"},"modified":"2022-12-19T17:39:14","modified_gmt":"2022-12-19T17:39:14","slug":"the-best-worst-gifts","status":"publish","type":"read","link":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts","title":{"rendered":"The best worst gifts | A selection of Christmas presents for people you don’t like"},"content":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s the final week before Christmas, which means a last-ditch scramble for overpriced, underwhelming presents. But instead of rushing around to find lovely gifts for people who don\u2019t deserve them, we\u2019ve devised a passive aggressive list of items for people you don\u2019t like.<\/b><\/p>\n

\n

Pottery made by your children\u00a0<\/b><\/h4>\n

This is ideal if your chosen target does not like your children. The less sentimental value the better. Mugs, bowls, plates with messy signatures and images are all fantastically undesirable, guaranteed to sit in the back of the cupboard for the best part of the next decade. Pottery made by other children might be a bit weird, but feel free.<\/span><\/p>\n

Anything else made by your children<\/b><\/h4>\n

Same thing goes. Unless it\u2019s a grandparent or particularly close immediate family, this is a great way to pawn off your children\u2019s useless creativity.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Pupils

1955: Pupils at London’s George Eliot Primary School model clay during pottery classes. (Photo by Juliette Lasserre\/BIPs\/Getty Images)<\/p><\/div>\n

Memoirs\/self-help books by American businessmen\u00a0<\/b><\/h4>\n

I\u2019m currently sitting opposite Tommy Hilfiger\u2019s <\/span>American Dreaming <\/span><\/i>and it just looks horrendous.<\/span> It’s possible I’m being very harsh, but I think not. Make sure to scribble a \u2018Dear <\/span>X, <\/span><\/i>Merry Christmas\u2019 note on the inside to ensure it cannot be re-gifted.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Impractical furniture<\/b><\/h4>\n

Preferably of the cheap, large and ugly variety. Singular kitchen chairs are good options, especially ones that still need to be built and can be shipped straight to the door. Cheap, ugly lamps – <\/span>like these \u2018authentic himalayan salt\u2019 lamps on Amazon<\/b><\/a> for just \u00a315 – are another good option; so, too, are any particularly revolting sets of glasses, plates and cutlery. For all the above, you\u2019ll just need to accept pretending to have horrible taste – a price worth paying.<\/span><\/p>\n

Unframed artwork<\/b><\/h4>\n

Staying with the large and ugly theme. Framing is expensive. On the surface this could appear quite nice and amiable, but give them some bland, generic oversized artwork and you\u2019ve put them in a right pickle. Think neon-coloured Warhol soup cans and Marilyns. Either that or any knock-off stuff from Kaws or Tukashi Murakami.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"andy<\/p>\n

Instruments (for the children of your targets)\u00a0<\/b><\/h4>\n

There\u2019s a wide range here, from which you can basically decide how annoying you want to be. Starting with the lowly recorder, guaranteed to make an awful squark but easily enough discarded, to the full-fledged drum kit, opportunities are endless. The drum kit might be quite heavy handed, as well as expensive, but if you\u2019ve got money to spare and don\u2019t mind your intentions being obvious, it\u2019s a classic for good reason. A keyboard with lots of electronic modes would be irksome. Any brass instrument would also get annoying.<\/span><\/p>\n

A package of gym classes\u00a0<\/b><\/h4>\n

I\u2019m thinking six spin sessions or something along those lines. Maybe a 2-month trial subscription which would guilt your nemesis into having to use it, at least once or twice. This is of course rude and catered towards enemies who hate exercise. I\u2019m imagining one to be given between siblings, likely sisters, as the rudeness becomes more heavy handed between more tenuously connected people. Either sisters or soon to be separated spouses that is.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"spin

A ‘heavy metal spin class’ in London<\/p><\/div>\n

Subscription to Twitter Blue<\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/h4>\n

It seems destined to be a lose-lose option this one, even if you are perhaps buying someone a brief slice of doomed internet history.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

iTunes voucher\u00a0<\/b><\/h4>\n

Most gift vouchers are a bit annoying, but the once serially given iTunes voucher is now utterly useless. You\u2019d need to be over a certain age, I reckon about 50 mark, to be able to give this and reasonably feign not-knowing its uselessness, but if you\u2019ve got any annoying, spoilt nieces and nephews or the like, a \u00a320 iTunes voucher would be a laugh.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"itunes<\/p>\n

Amazon Echo<\/b><\/h4>\n

They\u2019re only \u00a316.99 and if anyone wanted one by now, they\u2019d have got one. They\u2019re a pain to set up and never really work. They seem more generous than the \u00a316.99 price tag as well.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

DVDs and CDs (unless they are niche film or music folk)<\/b><\/h4>\n

The era of the disc is over. Especially box sets or comedy specials, and all those \u2018Now That\u2019s What I Call Music\u2026\u2019 CDs. The only way this goes on to be a good present is if they become expensive, retro collectable a few years down the line.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Pets (for the children of your target)<\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/h4>\n

Like instruments, there\u2019s scope here for how annoying you want to be. From a single fish – inconvenient but easy to discard – to a dog, admittedly a bit much. I reckon a fish tank is the perfect middle ground. Bequeathing a fish tank is basically just giving people an awkward sized container of dirty water to clean. If you want to be even more annoying, a parrot or a guinea pig or a hamster might be the right realm, but it does seem a bit cruel.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"cats<\/p>\n

Plants<\/b><\/h4>\n

It depends on the person, and it can\u2019t be flowers or plastic plants. We want real plants that need watered and looked after, and will – fingers crossed – cover surfaces with a muddy soil substance. Maybe a little tomato vine, I\u2019ve heard they\u2019re difficult to grow.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9717,"featured_media":193897,"parent":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","categories":[2],"tags":[1668,1630],"read-series":[],"article-types":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe best worst gifts | A selection of Christmas presents for people you don't like<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Instead of rushing around to find lovely gifts for people who don\u2019t deserve them, we\u2019ve devised a list of items for people you don\u2019t like.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The best worst gifts | A selection of Christmas presents for people you don't like whynow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Instead of rushing around to find lovely gifts for people who don\u2019t deserve them, we\u2019ve devised a list of items for people you don\u2019t like.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"whynow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/whynowworld\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/spaces.whynow.co.uk\/2022\/12\/gettyimages-532179283.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2121\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1414\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@whynowworld\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Estimated reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Archie Brydon\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/#\/schema\/person\/ee2d531cf76733390ac95881b8b087d1\"},\"headline\":\"The best worst gifts | A selection of Christmas presents for people you don’t like\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-12-19T17:39:14+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-12-19T17:39:14+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts\"},\"wordCount\":910,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/spaces.whynow.co.uk\/2022\/12\/gettyimages-532179283.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Christmas\",\"Opinion\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Culture\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts#respond\"]}],\"copyrightYear\":\"2022\",\"copyrightHolder\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/#organization\"}},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts\",\"name\":\"The best worst gifts | A selection of Christmas presents for people you don't like\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/spaces.whynow.co.uk\/2022\/12\/gettyimages-532179283.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-12-19T17:39:14+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-12-19T17:39:14+00:00\",\"description\":\"Instead of rushing around to find lovely gifts for people who don\u2019t deserve them, we\u2019ve devised a list of items for people you don\u2019t like.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/spaces.whynow.co.uk\/2022\/12\/gettyimages-532179283.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/spaces.whynow.co.uk\/2022\/12\/gettyimages-532179283.jpg\",\"width\":2121,\"height\":1414,\"caption\":\"christmas presents for people you hate\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Pages\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":3,\"name\":\"Culture\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/culture\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":4,\"name\":\"The best worst gifts | A selection of Christmas presents for people you don’t like\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/\",\"name\":\"whynow\",\"description\":\"No 1 For UK Music, News, Reviews + Interviews\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/#organization\",\"name\":\"whynow\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/spaces.whynow.co.uk\/2021\/02\/whynow-social.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/spaces.whynow.co.uk\/2021\/02\/whynow-social.png\",\"width\":700,\"height\":700,\"caption\":\"whynow\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/whynowworld\",\"https:\/\/x.com\/whynowworld\",\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/whynowworld\",\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/company\/whynow-ltd\/\",\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCRh-LqT10xU4uVPfaqRkvHw\"]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/#\/schema\/person\/ee2d531cf76733390ac95881b8b087d1\",\"name\":\"Archie Brydon\",\"jobTitle\":\"Writer\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/author\/archie-brydon\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO Premium plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The best worst gifts | A selection of Christmas presents for people you don't like","description":"Instead of rushing around to find lovely gifts for people who don\u2019t deserve them, we\u2019ve devised a list of items for people you don\u2019t like.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts","og_locale":"en_GB","og_type":"article","og_title":"The best worst gifts | A selection of Christmas presents for people you don't like whynow","og_description":"Instead of rushing around to find lovely gifts for people who don\u2019t deserve them, we\u2019ve devised a list of items for people you don\u2019t like.","og_url":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts","og_site_name":"whynow","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/whynowworld","og_image":[{"width":2121,"height":1414,"url":"https:\/\/spaces.whynow.co.uk\/2022\/12\/gettyimages-532179283.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_site":"@whynowworld","twitter_misc":{"Estimated reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts"},"author":{"name":"Archie Brydon","@id":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/#\/schema\/person\/ee2d531cf76733390ac95881b8b087d1"},"headline":"The best worst gifts | A selection of Christmas presents for people you don’t like","datePublished":"2022-12-19T17:39:14+00:00","dateModified":"2022-12-19T17:39:14+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts"},"wordCount":910,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/spaces.whynow.co.uk\/2022\/12\/gettyimages-532179283.jpg","keywords":["Christmas","Opinion"],"articleSection":["Culture"],"inLanguage":"en-GB","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts#respond"]}],"copyrightYear":"2022","copyrightHolder":{"@id":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/#organization"}},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts","url":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts","name":"The best worst gifts | A selection of Christmas presents for people you don't like","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/spaces.whynow.co.uk\/2022\/12\/gettyimages-532179283.jpg","datePublished":"2022-12-19T17:39:14+00:00","dateModified":"2022-12-19T17:39:14+00:00","description":"Instead of rushing around to find lovely gifts for people who don\u2019t deserve them, we\u2019ve devised a list of items for people you don\u2019t like.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-GB","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-GB","@id":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/spaces.whynow.co.uk\/2022\/12\/gettyimages-532179283.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/spaces.whynow.co.uk\/2022\/12\/gettyimages-532179283.jpg","width":2121,"height":1414,"caption":"christmas presents for people you hate"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read\/the-best-worst-gifts#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Pages","item":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/read"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Culture","item":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/culture"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":4,"name":"The best worst gifts | A selection of Christmas presents for people you don’t like"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/#website","url":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/","name":"whynow","description":"No 1 For UK Music, News, Reviews + Interviews","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-GB"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/#organization","name":"whynow","url":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-GB","@id":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/spaces.whynow.co.uk\/2021\/02\/whynow-social.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/spaces.whynow.co.uk\/2021\/02\/whynow-social.png","width":700,"height":700,"caption":"whynow"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/whynowworld","https:\/\/x.com\/whynowworld","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/whynowworld","https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/company\/whynow-ltd\/","https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCRh-LqT10xU4uVPfaqRkvHw"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/#\/schema\/person\/ee2d531cf76733390ac95881b8b087d1","name":"Archie Brydon","jobTitle":"Writer","url":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/author\/archie-brydon"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/read\/193896"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/read"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/read"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9717"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=193896"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/193897"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=193896"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=193896"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=193896"},{"taxonomy":"read-series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/read-series?post=193896"},{"taxonomy":"article-types","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/whynow.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/article-types?post=193896"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}