‘Mondegreens’ is a curious name, but all becomes clear when you know that it began with a misinterpretation of a phrase in a 17th-century Scottish ballad called The Bonnie Earl O’Moray, in which one listener was convinced ‘They hae slain the Earl O’Moray/And laid him on the green’ was in fact ‘They hae slain the Earl O’Moray/And Lady Mondegreen’.
The first mondegreen I remember was a hymn regularly sung at school assemblies called ‘Lord of the Dance Said He’. Like the comedian Richard Herring, I was convinced the title was ‘Lord of the Dance Settee’, and fondly imagined Jesus clapping along with us while reclining on a sofa. Fast forward to my teens, and I would happily join in with ‘Poison Summer’ by Don Henley, and even today struggle to believe he was singing about anything else.
Here are ten more mishearings – some hilarious, some poignant – that I’ve collected over the years. Of course, none of them will ever be quite as good as your own.
So Long, Farewell
Most of us can cheerily belt out this song, delivered by the Von Trapp Family children in the wonderful The Sound of Music. ‘So long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen Goodbye’. According to some, however, the true chorus runs ‘So long, Farewell, Our feet are saying Goodbye’. It’s a perfect example of a mishearing that still holds a certain amount of logic.
Return December
Address Unknown? Elvis might well have been talking about the return of dark days and a frozen romance. Except he wasn’t. ‘Return to Sender’ is where it’s at.
Money for Nothing and Your Chips for Free
Only while writing this did I discover this isn’t the correct lyric to Dire Straits’ ‘Money for Nothing’. It’s ‘Chicks for free’, stupid. That told me.
Portrait of the band Starship circa 1980. (Photo by Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images)
We Built this City
On sausage rolls, apparently, according to Starship (it’s on rock n’ roll, in reality, but a Greggs-founded city is a lovely thought).
Dancing Queen
Another of my teenage misunderstandings involved this hit from ABBA, in which the Dancing Queen ‘feels the beat from the tangerine’. Needless to say I now know a tambourine is the one doing the business.
Dyslexics on Fire
King’s of Leon ‘Sex on Fire’ manages to somehow lose its meaning entirely to some listeners.
I’ll never leave your pizza burning
Surely as good a promise as the one the Rolling Stones actually made: ‘I’ll never be your beast of burden’.
(L-R) Debbie Sledge, Kathy Sledge, Joni Sledge and Kim Sledge of the vocal group “Sister Sledge” pose for a portrait in circa 1984. (Photo by Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images)
We Are Family
‘I got all my sisters and me’, Sister Sledge assures us. But what do you hear next? Famously, a lot of people swap out ‘Let me just state for the record’ with ‘Let me just staple the vicar’.
The Dawning of…
Take your pick between ‘The Age of Aquarius’ or ‘The Age of Asparagus’. A lot of people seem to see the merit in both.
Comma Chameleon
Perhaps you’d expect this one from a lexicographer, but surely this is what Boy George meant to sing?
6 Comments
“Scuse me while I kiss this guy”
For many years I thought Creedence Clearwater Revival were singing “There in the bathroom on the right” even though I knew the song was called Bad Moon Rising.
John Warburton
Paul McCartney’s “Bollicking time” Mull of Kintyre, obviously!
I always felt that ‘Leyla’ was supporting Leyland (British Leyland).
“Mulligan tyres” by Wings
Ken Dodd’s classic: “A penis, a penis, the greatest gift that I possess”
And finally, “Ada! You with the scars on your thighs” (Scouse version of: “Hey, there! You with the stars in your eyes”
Nathan Jones
I remember recording Bruno Brookes’ Twisted Lyrics on Radio 1 in the eighties – We Are Family was one mentioned – “We’re giving love in a femidom”